Basil…So Much Basil & Other Yummy Garden Things

So despite the drought conditions her in BC this summer is proving to be spectacular for our garden! We’ve been enjoying carrots, spinach, lettuce, sage, thyme, cucumbers, peppers, potatoes, beets, onions, radishes, peas, eggplant, zucchini, beans, mint, and basil so far!
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I’m pretty excited our corn is well on it’s way to being ready and I’ve got some little pumpkins and a random giant squash looking good! I’m trying not to eat the green tomatoes but I make no promises!

While everything is doing well the basil is unstoppable! I’ve eaten my fair share raw, in salads, pasta, and bruschetta! Tonight I decided to process some into a paste with garlic and olive oil to freeze for use later when we don’t have all this fresh!

Basically it’s the same process as making pesto minus the nuts and cheese!

Wash and dry your fresh basil leaves and pulse through your food processor with olive oil and fresh garlic! I used one tablespoon of olive oil per packed cup of basil leaves, with two garlic cloves! It smells amazing!! After it was processed I scooped into individual portion cups to freeze! Easy and a great way to avoid wasting your beautiful fresh basil.
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You wind up with considerably less then you started with but these little frozen herb pucks will pack big flavor when you decide to use them! They work great in pesto, pasta sauce, on buttered pasta, omelettes, bruschetta, in scrambled eggs and in homemade salad dressing!!

Low Fat Zucchini Muffins!!

Good morning old friends! I know it’s been awhile again! I’m very busy being a Mom but I promise I havent forgotten about my blog!

Yesterday my tiny love decided to go back to sleep after breakfast and I took full advantage by getting in the kitchen to bake!! I’ve been baking lots, just not posting about it! Well I managed to snap some photos yesterday so I could share these lovely, healthy zucchini muffins with you!

I rejoined Weigh watchers to get back on track. These little muffins will set you back 150 calories or 3 Weight watchers points but are well worth it in my opinion! They bake up moist and are very low in fat.

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Ingredients
1 cup white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup brown sugar, loosely packed
1-1/8 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp cinnamon
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 tbsp melted butter
1 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1-1/2 cups shredded zucchini not peeled, loosely packed

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Method
Combine flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon and baking soda. Gently fluff with a fork and add in chocolate chips

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In another bowl combine butter, zucchini, vanilla, egg, and apple sauce.

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Once mixed add to a well in the dry ingredients and fold to combine.
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Divide between 18 standard muffin tins (12 if you aren’t concerned about slightly higher calories) sprayed with non stock spray and bake for 22 minutes at 325 degrees until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

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These muffins are perfect for breakfast or as sweet treat with a cup of tea! It’s nice to know these are a sweet treat that won’t derail your healthy living efforts!

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It’s Been Awhile…

So my little man is 15 weeks old as of yesterday. I’m not sure where the last four months have gone, but wow. Being a Mom is the most amazing experience ever. Everyday this little boy makes me smile, makes me think, and teaches me something. Some moments are hard and frustrating, I won’t lie to you! But when Jacob looks at me and smiles all the hard goes away. Being a Mom has taught me so much already and has changed the very essence of who I am.

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My life is currently nothing like I expected it to be at this point. When I was pregnant and thinking about life with a newborn I had all these ideas of how our days would go! I thought we’d have a schedule, you know… A bed time, bath time, nap time, play time, meal times! That Id have a set time to go to the gym for a little me time. I figured by mid May Id be well on my way with Seawheeze training! I was vastly unprepared for this new life!! I didn’t take my health issues into concern when I day dreamed about my new picture perfect Mommy adventure!! I don’t know why it never crossed my mind that throwing up for nine months straight due to Hypermesiss would leave my body with some fallout and battle wounds. It never hit me my recovery would be the same side effects as that of bulimics. I definitely didn’t think my husband would be in a horrible car accident a month prior to our sons birth leaving him with spine damage and unable to work and more importantly unable to hold his son without pain.

My health has been a constant issue since I gave birth. I was in labor for 36 hours, 16 of those being hard, active labor. I’m told I handled it like a rock star! It was a natural no pain killer sort of showdown. I had my family, Kevin’s parents and my best friend there for the big event. Yes in the room with us, because being pregnant gave me this big emotional feeling of how important family togetherness is!! Fyi that feeling is gone now! It wasn’t until the weeks following birth that I realized something wasn’t right. I quickly realized I needed to see a doctor. I learned I had partially retained the placenta. It was weeks of back and forth with the surgeon, ultrasounds, special medication. I see my doctor again today and I’m guessing another ultrasound. I also quickly realized after giving birth that I wasn’t producing Breastmilk. After two full exhausting months of pills, pumping, supplements, lactation consultants, Brewers yeast, massage, tea, lactation cookies, and tears I gave up. I couldn’t mentally or physically put myself through 7 pumps a day to collect a total of 1 oz of Breastmilk. In the end they chalked the poor production up to the fact I was in starvation mode for 9 months due to the hypermesis. I was extremely malnourished and my body was fighting to keep me alive rendering it unable to produce milk. It was disappointing to be unable to provide my child with nourishment. I cried a lot until I became vocal in the topic. All the sudden I had other women quietly coming to me and confiding they didn’t produce either! This isn’t an uncommon thing! It’s just not talked about and that is sad! No new Mom should be left thinking it’s her fault her body won’t produce milk!

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My little formula fed baby is growing, developing, learning, and stealing hearts everyday! I no longer feel any shame about him being formula fed, or my choice to accept the fact my body wasn’t going to produce no matter how hard I tried.

As for the other health issues, well it’s a day to day battle. Between the lupus pain returning post pregnancy and the fact my body is still in starvation/survival mode. The stomach issues, weight gain, anemia, extreme body pain, etc are everyday battles and I try my best to stay positive and trudge through them. All of these things are exasperated for me by the stress of Kevin’s injury.

His car accident happened on New Year’s Eve. We spent New Years in the ER and he’s been in pain ever since. I don’t really want to go into detail at this point but watching him grimace in pain trying to hold his son breaks my heart.

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I took this photo yesterday when we took Jacob to the river to enjoy the sunshine. I love this picture because it captures Kevin’s happiness being a Father, but it breaks my heart because I know how much pain he’s in and it’s not fair.

Life is constantly changing, thankfully I know to embrace the little moments.

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One of my goals is to get back to blogging on a regular basis. I definitely let it fall off the map during my pregnancy. Writing is therapeutic for me. Plus reviewing local places was a lot of fun, and we enjoyed the perks that came with discovering these hidden gems! I’ve had many people tell me they miss my recipe posts as well. I’m going to do my best to get back to it. Yesterday we checked out opening day of The Langley farmers market and visited Derby Reach park! Last week Emma and I got to see the baby animals at the Cloverdale rodeo up close and personal. These things remind me how much I love BC and I hope to get back to sharing my life with you! Our adventures, local reviews, food and wine!!! Until I get knocked up again ;)

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The Fourth Trimester

A term I never heard ever during my pregnancy: Fourth Trimester.

No one told me about the fourth trimester. There was no paper handout in the stack with the other 900 pages of do’s and don’ts they gave me prior to leaving the hospital.
There was mandatory video viewing.

A trimester far worse than the other three combine and that’s a bold statement coming from me because I puked day in and day out through those other 3 trimesters!!!

When pregnancy is just a distant memory and you realize you are nothing but a barely functioning shell of the person you use to be and nothing you thought you’d be once your tiny love arrived. When you realize you’re someone else and you have lost yourself.

The fourth trimester: A time you realize you hate so many people.
People at one time you loved. A time when trust dies in an instant.

The fourth trimester: A time when people give you advice and expect you to follow their advice like they are the supreme book on parenting and child rearing. When you realize you don’t want to follow their advice because you’ve seen how their kids turned out.

The fourth trimester: A time when even complete strangers think it’s okay to ask about your breasts and how you feed your child. And by ask I mean judge. When you already feel like a failure because your body decided to be useless in the Breast milk department. A time you force down literally handfuls of prescription meds and supplements. 39 pills a day, so I’m not accused of exaggerating (because yes, I did see you scoff when I said I was in labour for 36 hours)! A time when you have no time because you have a Breast pump attached to you literally hours a day trying to suck out the one tiny ounce of milk your body produces with the help of the handful of pills… Plus the lactation cookies and tea that taste like crap but you keep at it because every-time you consider stoping the guilt sets in. You keep hearing that little reminder that every drop of Breast milk makes a difference. Breast is best! Liquid gold trumps sanity… No one tells you that… But you’re a horrible mother if you don’t provide your child the gift of Breastmilk. At least that’s what society tells you. They don’t tell you how hard Breastfeeding is.. But you learn that the hard way in the early days of the fourth trimester!

The fourth trimester is when you get your 6 week postpartum phone call from public health. When they evaluate how you’re coping and you realize how fucked up societal pressure is on new Mom’s. When that phone call makes you want to snap because why am I considered not coping well because I told someone how I felt! Oh right because I used the term “cunt” as a superlative when telling someone how I felt about them and their overbearing advice/demands/breathing … You get the point. Apparently the fourth trimester is when they decide to remind woman that we need to use our coping skills and by coping skills they mean be nice to people we want to punch!

The fourth trimester is the glorious time everyone and their dog gets to blame your feelings and actions on your hormones… Even if your actions are based on their actions of them being a dick!! It’s a cool state of affairs when someone backs you into a corner and then tells you maybe you needs meds or counseling.. Maybe it’s PPD….. Or maybe just fucking maybe it’s not postpartum and it’s not my hormones… Maybe you’re just a cunt… Shit see above point… My bad!

The fourth trimester: the time everyone wants to come visit you and new baby! Because you know you want visitors when you haven’t showered in three days!!! You know it’s hard enough to put down a new baby but when you do get that chance you best learn to power clean your house because you need to look like you’ve got this new Mom shit under control! If your lucky though your visitors will offer to help… Don’t worry though by “help” most people mean come over and hold your baby during the time of day he’s calm.

So yes I’m living the fourth trimester right now and all I want to do is cuddle my baby and tell the rest of the world to fuck off.., except when he screams for 3 hours straight despite me having done everything I can think to calm him down… Then I want to rip my ears off and cry… But that’s probably just the PPD you think I have!

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You’re My Whole Word; A note to my son

You came into this world on a Wednesday evening in early February and nothing has been the same since. My every thought is about you, your life, and how I can care for you and protect you. I love you.

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I know I’m biased and think you’re the most beautiful baby boy ever! Fortunately everyone agrees with me and tells you constantly how handsome you are! Embrace it, enjoy it but don’t let it go to your head!

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As we lay here on the couch with you sound to sleep on my chest I can’t help but feel complete. Quiet morning cuddles on the couch. I know in years to come I will long for this and the smell of your tiny head… I am so in love with you tiny little man. The love I feel as a Mother is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced or imagined.

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I never fathomed having a baby would change everything so much. The way I see the world has completely changed since I met you. My dreams, my goals, my needs, my wants. Everything is centered on you. Id give you the world if I could.

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I can’t give you the world but I will do my best to give you our little world. I will love you ferociously and protect you with everything I am. I will teach you everything I can and support your dreams and goals. Most of all I will always be here for you.

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I will spend the rest of my life loving you and doing everything I can to bring joy to your life because in this short month the joy you have brought to me is remarkable.


You are my little Boo bear and words cannot even begin to express how I feel about you. You’re my everything, my whole world.

Love Mom

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It’s So Quiet In Our Little World Tonight

You’re only getting better with time… I can’t wait to see your beautiful eyes and hold your tiny hand. I want to count your tiny toes and be the one to make it all all right. I cannot wait to hold you. I cannot wait to be overjoyed by the tiny perfection we’ve created.

I don’t mean to rush you but nights like this when it’s just the two of us I just can’t help but be impatient.

Soon.

Once we make it through the gorgeous Fall and icy winter. Once we celebrate Christmas and watch the calendar change to a brand new year, then I get to meet you.

All the best things in life take time, beautiful baby I already adore you. Take your time, you’ll be ready soon.

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